Old men chasing young women: A good thing
It turns out that older men chasing younger women contributes to human longevity and the survival of the species, according to new findings by researchers at Stanford and the University of California-Santa Barbara.
Evolutionary theory says that individuals should die of old age when their reproductive lives are complete, generally by age 55 in humans, according to demographer Cedric Puleston, a doctoral candidate in biological sciences at Stanford. But the fatherhood of a small number of older men is enough to postpone the date with death because natural selection fights life-shortening mutations until the species is finished reproducing.
"Rod Stewart and David Letterman having babies in their 50s and 60s provide no benefit for their personal survival, but the pattern [of reproducing at a later age] has an effect on the population as a whole," Puleston said. "It's advantageous to the species if these people stick around. By increasing the survival of men you have a spillover effect on women because men pass their genes to children of both sexes."
"Why Men Matter: Mating Patterns Drive Evolution of Human Lifespan," was published Aug. 29 in the online journal Public Library of Science ONE. Shripad Tuljapurkar, the Morrison Professor of Population Studies at Stanford; Puleston; and Michael Gurven, an assistant professor of anthropology at UCSB, co-authored the study in an effort to understand why humans don't die when female reproduction ends.
Human ability to scale the so-called "wall of death"—surviving beyond the reproductive years—has been a center of scientific controversy for more than 50 years, Puleston said. "The central question is: Why should a species that stops reproducing by some age stick around afterward?" he said. "Evolutionary theory predicts that, over time, harmful mutations that decrease survival will arise in the population and will remain invisible to natural selection after reproduction ends." However, in hunter-gatherer societies, which likely represent early human demographic conditions and mating patterns, one-third of people live beyond 55 years, past the reproductive lifespan for women. Furthermore, life expectancy in today's industrialized countries is 75 to 85 years, with mortality increasing gradually, not abruptly, following female menopause.
Grandmother hypothesis
In 1966, William Hamilton, a British evolutionary biologist, worked out the mathematics describing the "wall of death." Since then, the most popular explanation for why humans don't die by age 55 has been termed the "grandmother hypothesis," which suggests that women enhance the survival of their children and grandchildren by living long enough to care for them and "increasing the success of their genes," Puleston said. However, Hamilton's work has been difficult to express as a mathematical and genetic argument explaining why people live into old age.
Unlike previous research on human reproduction, this study—for the first time—includes data on males, a tweak that allowed the researchers to begin answering the "wall of death" question by matching it to human mortality patterns. According to Puleston, earlier studies looked only at women, because scientists can reproduce good datasets for humans entirely based on information related to female fertility and survival rates.
"Men's fertility is contingent on women's fertility—you have to figure out how they match up. We care about reproduction because that is a currency by which force of selection is counted. If we have not accounted for the entire pattern of reproduction, we may be missing something that's important to evolution."
Men and longevity
In the paper, the researchers analyzed "a general two-sex model to show that selection favors survival for as long as men reproduce." The scientists presented a "range of data showing that males much older than 50 years have substantial realized fertility through matings with younger females, a pattern that was likely typical among early humans." As a result, Puleston said, older male fertility helps to select against damaging cell mutations in humans who have passed the age of female menopause, consequently eliminating the "wall of death."
"Our analysis shows that old-age male fertility allows evolution to breach Hamilton's wall of death and predicts a gradual rise in mortality after the age of female menopause without relying on 'grandmother' effects or economic optimality," the researchers say in the paper.
The scientists compiled longevity and fertility data from two hunter-gatherer groups, the Dobe !Kung of the Kalahari and the Ache of Paraguay, one of the most isolated populations in the world. They also looked at the forager-farmer Yanomamo of Brazil and Venezuela, and the Tsimane, an indigenous group in Bolivia. "They're living a lifestyle that our ancestors lived and their fertility patterns are probably most consistent with our ancestors," Puleston said about the four groups. The study also looked at several farming villages in Gambia and, for comparison, a group of modern Canadians.
In the less developed, traditional societies, males were as much as 5-to-15 years older than their female partners. In the United States and Europe, the age spread was about two years. "It's a universal pattern that in typical marriages men are older than women," Puleston said. "The age gaps vary by culture, but in every group we looked at men start [being reproductive] later. At the end of reproduction, male fertility rates taper off gradually, as opposed to the fairly sharp decline in female fertility by menopause." Despite small differences based on marriage traditions, all women and most men in the six groups stopped having children by their 50s, the researchers found. But some men, particularly high-status males, continued to reproduce into their 70s. The paper noted that the age gap is most pronounced in societies that favor polygyny, where a man takes several wives, and in gerontocracies, where older men monopolize access to reproductive women. The authors also cite genetic and anthropological evidence that early humans were probably polygynous as well.
Older male fertility also exists in societies supporting serial monogamy, because men are more likely to remarry than women. "For these reasons, we argue that realized male fertility was substantial at ages well past female menopause for much of human history and the result is reflected in the mortality patterns of modern populations," the authors say. "We conclude that deleterious mutations acting after the age of female menopause are selected against … solely as a result of the matings between older males and younger females."
According to Puleston, the "grandmother hypothesis" may be true, but the real pattern of male fertility extends beyond this explanation. "The key question is: Does the population have a greater growth rate if men are reproducing at a later age? The answer is 'yes.' The age of last reproduction gets pushed into the 60s and 70s if you add men to the analysis. Hamilton's approach was right, but in a species where males and females have different reproductive patterns, you need a two-sex model. You can't correctly estimate the force of selection if you leave men out of the picture. As a man myself, it's gratifying to know that men do matter."
Grants from the U.S. National Institute on Aging supported this study.
Evolutionary theory says that individuals should die of old age when their reproductive lives are complete, generally by age 55 in humans, according to demographer Cedric Puleston, a doctoral candidate in biological sciences at Stanford. But the fatherhood of a small number of older men is enough to postpone the date with death because natural selection fights life-shortening mutations until the species is finished reproducing.
"Rod Stewart and David Letterman having babies in their 50s and 60s provide no benefit for their personal survival, but the pattern [of reproducing at a later age] has an effect on the population as a whole," Puleston said. "It's advantageous to the species if these people stick around. By increasing the survival of men you have a spillover effect on women because men pass their genes to children of both sexes."
"Why Men Matter: Mating Patterns Drive Evolution of Human Lifespan," was published Aug. 29 in the online journal Public Library of Science ONE. Shripad Tuljapurkar, the Morrison Professor of Population Studies at Stanford; Puleston; and Michael Gurven, an assistant professor of anthropology at UCSB, co-authored the study in an effort to understand why humans don't die when female reproduction ends.
Human ability to scale the so-called "wall of death"—surviving beyond the reproductive years—has been a center of scientific controversy for more than 50 years, Puleston said. "The central question is: Why should a species that stops reproducing by some age stick around afterward?" he said. "Evolutionary theory predicts that, over time, harmful mutations that decrease survival will arise in the population and will remain invisible to natural selection after reproduction ends." However, in hunter-gatherer societies, which likely represent early human demographic conditions and mating patterns, one-third of people live beyond 55 years, past the reproductive lifespan for women. Furthermore, life expectancy in today's industrialized countries is 75 to 85 years, with mortality increasing gradually, not abruptly, following female menopause.
Grandmother hypothesis
In 1966, William Hamilton, a British evolutionary biologist, worked out the mathematics describing the "wall of death." Since then, the most popular explanation for why humans don't die by age 55 has been termed the "grandmother hypothesis," which suggests that women enhance the survival of their children and grandchildren by living long enough to care for them and "increasing the success of their genes," Puleston said. However, Hamilton's work has been difficult to express as a mathematical and genetic argument explaining why people live into old age.
Unlike previous research on human reproduction, this study—for the first time—includes data on males, a tweak that allowed the researchers to begin answering the "wall of death" question by matching it to human mortality patterns. According to Puleston, earlier studies looked only at women, because scientists can reproduce good datasets for humans entirely based on information related to female fertility and survival rates.
"Men's fertility is contingent on women's fertility—you have to figure out how they match up. We care about reproduction because that is a currency by which force of selection is counted. If we have not accounted for the entire pattern of reproduction, we may be missing something that's important to evolution."
Men and longevity
In the paper, the researchers analyzed "a general two-sex model to show that selection favors survival for as long as men reproduce." The scientists presented a "range of data showing that males much older than 50 years have substantial realized fertility through matings with younger females, a pattern that was likely typical among early humans." As a result, Puleston said, older male fertility helps to select against damaging cell mutations in humans who have passed the age of female menopause, consequently eliminating the "wall of death."
"Our analysis shows that old-age male fertility allows evolution to breach Hamilton's wall of death and predicts a gradual rise in mortality after the age of female menopause without relying on 'grandmother' effects or economic optimality," the researchers say in the paper.
The scientists compiled longevity and fertility data from two hunter-gatherer groups, the Dobe !Kung of the Kalahari and the Ache of Paraguay, one of the most isolated populations in the world. They also looked at the forager-farmer Yanomamo of Brazil and Venezuela, and the Tsimane, an indigenous group in Bolivia. "They're living a lifestyle that our ancestors lived and their fertility patterns are probably most consistent with our ancestors," Puleston said about the four groups. The study also looked at several farming villages in Gambia and, for comparison, a group of modern Canadians.
In the less developed, traditional societies, males were as much as 5-to-15 years older than their female partners. In the United States and Europe, the age spread was about two years. "It's a universal pattern that in typical marriages men are older than women," Puleston said. "The age gaps vary by culture, but in every group we looked at men start [being reproductive] later. At the end of reproduction, male fertility rates taper off gradually, as opposed to the fairly sharp decline in female fertility by menopause." Despite small differences based on marriage traditions, all women and most men in the six groups stopped having children by their 50s, the researchers found. But some men, particularly high-status males, continued to reproduce into their 70s. The paper noted that the age gap is most pronounced in societies that favor polygyny, where a man takes several wives, and in gerontocracies, where older men monopolize access to reproductive women. The authors also cite genetic and anthropological evidence that early humans were probably polygynous as well.
Older male fertility also exists in societies supporting serial monogamy, because men are more likely to remarry than women. "For these reasons, we argue that realized male fertility was substantial at ages well past female menopause for much of human history and the result is reflected in the mortality patterns of modern populations," the authors say. "We conclude that deleterious mutations acting after the age of female menopause are selected against … solely as a result of the matings between older males and younger females."
According to Puleston, the "grandmother hypothesis" may be true, but the real pattern of male fertility extends beyond this explanation. "The key question is: Does the population have a greater growth rate if men are reproducing at a later age? The answer is 'yes.' The age of last reproduction gets pushed into the 60s and 70s if you add men to the analysis. Hamilton's approach was right, but in a species where males and females have different reproductive patterns, you need a two-sex model. You can't correctly estimate the force of selection if you leave men out of the picture. As a man myself, it's gratifying to know that men do matter."
Grants from the U.S. National Institute on Aging supported this study.
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re old men are disgusting
I love my husband ... we have amazing sex every night . I'm 21 hes 45.
so i would!!!
I am 20 and my fiance is 45.
I am 20 and my fiance is 45. we have been together for two years now. He completes me ... he says in his other half.
I have always liked older men and lots of people knew but once they actually saw that i was with one, some freaked out. its funny because once they all met him and say how much of and awesome guy he is they liked him. i love my man with all i got
too bad for you old ladies!
Hello!
Old ladies dont like mature men guys having serious relationships with younger women because they are jealous of the young lady cause they themselves look so old. I am 61 and my fiance is 23. We get along great and we plan to get married. I work out with weights and do cardio and she just lazes around looking fantastic...I love it.
PS-- there is such a thing as age discrimination. a lot of women have it against men. Young immature teenagers: be quiet! and learn from the girls who are in their 20's. they know better!.
It's just a number
Hi,
I'm 21 years old and my boyfriend who is adorable is 33. I really believe it's just a number, and that it doesn't have to be a fling.. You seem like a sweet person goodluck.
The hope that rare true love exist
Sometimes we just got to feel what our hearts really tell us. When you fall in love in someone, it is not just about the age. Everyone wishes for the perfect relationship - to have someone compatible, about the same age, well to do financially, pleasant in personality, fun loving, out going, caring, good looking, faithful, loving... and the list goes on.
But in reality, life and relationships especially, aren't perfect. We fall in love and sometimes we fall real deep, to the extent that age barrier just becomes something too insignificant to think or talk about. The chemistry and emotional support can be so strong that what you see surpasses the exterior of that someone.
There are 'good' women and 'bad' ones, likewise there are 'good' men and 'bad' ones, and the way they act in their relationships is not necessary due to their age gap.
There are many obstacles that one may face when there is a wide age gap between partners.
Firstly, it is the social disapproval from people around you. It can be really hurtful to find those that supported you in everyway of your life suddenly go against you so harshly. It may even make you feel so lonely and guilty. You need to have the strength and the strongest belief that this is what you really want, to convince your world that you will make it happen against all odds.
Second, it is the fear of the short biological life span on this earth. Let's be real, he is 50 and you are 20 means that when you are 40, he is already 70. In this generarion, people would be quite feeble at that age, and you would still be jumping around in your 40s, wishing you had a mate to bring to nieces and nephews' wedding dinners.
But of course, the ultimate is to always be strong and remember to appreciate the short 20 years that you spent happily together. A true love that is short and sweet is more worthy than a long and painful relationship, even if it lasted 50 years. Hopefully, medical science would continuously improve and contribute to the healthcare services for aging populations.
Third, it is the mental state that you have to be concerned about. You can take the stress of going against what other people tell you for a few years. But how long can you take it. As said by many people, a lie that is told a thousand times become the truth.
Are you able to withstand all the people calling you a slut, telling you that such relationships will never last, you are only after that old man for his money and he is only after you for sex, he will get sick of you and he is just treating you like a plaything which he will find a new one after awhile?
And at the very end, are you able to still stand your ground about what you think about yourself? We are humans and we feel weak and helpless at times. If these criticisms were to attack your mental state during that period, it will totally break you.
It is really important to build a good support base. You have to find out who is really on your side. Those that you can trust will make your life so completely lighter.
Every relationship have its fair share of sacrifices to make. The efforts that have to be put in to maintain the love, intimacy, faithfulness and appreciation. One has to be very sure who they really are and what do they want out of the life that they have. One has to ask herself if she is happy with the way life is with all the sacrifices that she made, even if the relationship is no longer in the heightened state of passion, even if the relationship can no longer involve sex.
My point here is that every relationship is equal regardless of age gap. It just has different obstacles and difficulties that has to be faced. Just like different people take different courses in life and pursue different careers. We cannot compare the difficulty of a cleaner with that of a doctor, because we know that it is not apple for apple.
Be open to the people around you who have such relationships, and do not be afraid to go into a relationship because of a wide age gap.
The hope that rare true love exist
Sometimes we just got to feel what our hearts really tell us. When you fall in love in someone, it is not just about the age. Everyone wishes for the perfect relationship - to have someone compatible, about the same age, well to do financially, pleasant in personality, fun loving, out going, caring, good looking, faithful, loving... and the list goes on.
But in reality, life and relationships especially, aren't perfect. We fall in love and sometimes we fall real deep, to the extent that age barrier just becomes something too insignificant to think or talk about. The chemistry and emotional support can be so strong that what you see surpasses the exterior of that someone.
There are 'good' women and 'bad' ones, likewise there are 'good' men and 'bad' ones, and the way they act in their relationships is not necessary due to their age gap.
There are many obstacles that one may face when there is a wide age gap between partners.
Firstly, it is the social disapproval from people around you. It can be really hurtful to find those that supported you in everyway of your life suddenly go against you so harshly. It may even make you feel so lonely and guilty. You need to have the strength and the strongest belief that this is what you really want, to convince your world that you will make it happen against all odds.
Second, it is the fear of the short biological life span on this earth. Let's be real, he is 50 and you are 20 means that when you are 40, he is already 70. In this generarion, people would be quite feeble at that age, and you would still be jumping around in your 40s, wishing you had a mate to bring to nieces and nephews' wedding dinners.
But of course, the ultimate is to always be strong and remember to appreciate the short 20 years that you spent happily together. A true love that is short and sweet is more worthy than a long and painful relationship, even if it lasted 50 years. Hopefully, medical science would continuously improve and contribute to the healthcare services for aging populations.
Third, it is the mental state that you have to be concerned about. You can take the stress of going against what other people tell you for a few years. But how long can you take it. As said by many people, a lie that is told a thousand times become the truth.
Are you able to withstand all the people calling you a slut, telling you that such relationships will never last, you are only after that old man for his money and he is only after you for sex, he will get sick of you and he is just treating you like a plaything which he will find a new one after awhile?
And at the very end, are you able to still stand your ground about what you think about yourself? We are humans and we feel weak and helpless at times. If these criticisms were to attack your mental state during that period, it will totally break you.
It is really important to build a good support base. You have to find out who is really on your side. Those that you can trust will make your life so completely lighter.
Every relationship have its fair share of sacrifices to make. The efforts that have to be put in to maintain the love, intimacy, faithfulness and appreciation. One has to be very sure who they really are and what do they want out of the life that they have. One has to ask herself if she is happy with the way life is with all the sacrifices that she made, even if the relationship is no longer in the heightened state of passion, even if the relationship can no longer involve sex.
My point here is that every relationship is equal regardless of age gap. It just has different obstacles and difficulties that has to be faced. Just like different people take different courses in life and pursue different careers. We cannot compare the difficulty of a cleaner with that of a doctor, because we know that it is not apple for apple.
Be open to the people around you who have such relationships, and do not be afraid to go into a relationship because of a wide age gap.
This makes no sense
I don't believe any point you have tried to make is valid at all. Your grammar, punctuation and general lack of sentence structure makes it impossible to accept any word your ignorant ass has written.
older men
Any girl never ever be in love with a man who is in his 50 and above. No matter how many times he can change his looks or his hair color never look young. or dresing like young men to look like young men. you can't be look young because you can't hide your age and it will show in your face even though you cover your gray hair with brown hair.
Just need to learn older men don't try to be different person than you were. because you will never be young soon later your will tired of your hair change you will be on your natural hair so what are you going to tell to the girl. are you going to tell her you change your hair to different color.
What about to sex are you going to have sex like young men because even though you change on the out side to look young but still in side will show how old you are when you are in bed with younger girl.
don't forget older man five to ten years you will be retire and you will be in your 60+ do you thing young girl will stay or go out with you after 5 years. she may go out now but not after 5 to 10 years because by that time you will be prepared to go to nursing home. That will be you life. because you don't have time left to enjoy with younger girl.
Because your time for enjoyment with younger women is runing. time is runing for you. no matter what you change still going to be you the old man.
This topic just proves to me
This topic just proves to me how stupid society is for getting after older men for chasing younger ladies.
WTF?
What does race have to do with this?
WTF?
Your type of thinking makes me want to be racist? What does race have to do with this?
redrose
Life must go on friend just forget the past,everythings happen in our life have purpose.
Older men to younger women
Personally i dnt c anything wrong in dating a gal of 21-25yrs at ur age. The gap isn't much. Moreova wats the physical diff bw 30 and 25yrs old woman? If u fancy dat age give it a try and u be glad u did!
@blah
jealous cos you don't have that younger body? been rejected by men?
LOOKING FOR ADVICE....
I'm a man who just turned 30. I haven't been in a relationship in about 6 years, when my ex (mother of my children) split up. It really broke my spirit, and I did NOT have any interest in dating other women during that period. Although, I am not back to being 100% my old self, (and probably never will be), I am starting to get the urge to get back out there. The problem, or maybe it isn't a problem, that I am having is that when I am out and about, lots of YOUNG women flirt with me. And by young, I mean like very early twenties and even some as young as 17. I feel a little weird about this. I've never dated anyone with such a significant age gap between us. For me personally, anything younger than 21 is TOTALLY off limits. But, I guess the question here is, would it be OK to date a woman between 21-25, and could it possibly become more than just a fling. Is age REALLY just a number?
redrose
Im 25yrs old living with older guy 68yrs old he is married but separated,he told me that he marry me after he divorce his wife,i appreciate him because his verry nice and loving person but im just a jelous girl:im selfish person when im inlove i dont know if this is true love:i really hate when i saw those picture:from his X wives and other younger pictures,not an ordinary pictures;very bad things for me because those pictures are naked and some just wearing bra and panty.Sometimes when we are in trouble most is all about the pictures,when were going to out if he saw some younger sexy he might say:ohh so sexy girl:and his eyes keep on looking to her:and this is big insult in my part,im trying to told him that its ok if your doing that but dont show me but still he keep on doing.Im so young and his so old i need love not only in the words:action speaks louder than words:im not satisfy of what i have now.I NEED LOVE.I just dont know WHY Im here in this situation.BUT IM STILL LOVE HIM.Is this true love?I need some advice please:Just email me:rosemarie_ayawan2008@yahoo.com
blah...
This is just another excuse to give guys the right to want younger women with sexier bodies because its all about sex for men. When are looking for a personal relationship and older men have been around long enough to know that.
Im 16
The thought of dating or being with an older man never had crosed my mind. Until i was at a friends house and met a friend of hers. He didnt look like he was out of his twentys and i was attracted to him very suddenly.I got his number.Talkin with him for a few days let me see he was nice,understanding and loving he was.Found out he was 38 We became best friends, then he told me he loved me, i knew i love him.We became a couple and two months later i was with him on Valentines day and we made love not had sex but made love. We were together 8 months after we made love and i broke up with him.Five months later which is now, i realize i love him with everything i hold within myself and i kno he does too. Hes moving closer to me after being away for 7 months and all i can say is the time we have spent together with one another lets me kno that someday i will be with this man. We get along great and i wouldnt have it anyother way. Its not about age or anything like that its about what you feel inside. Dont listen to what people try and tell you follow your heart for the good or bad.
Elizabeth
Chantelle's rationale
Let's see, this is written from the point of view of a woman who: 1) is bisexual and spends her time having sex with women who are married to men, 2) hates white people and discards whatever they say for that reason, and 3) hates middle-aged males and discards whatever they say, also, for that reason.
"I'm really interested to know who funded this study. (cough) Older white guy? (cough)"
Let's see, that was one cough for him being older and a second cough for him being white. So your argument is that these two factors make whatever he says wrong automatically. That's called an "ad hominem argument." Some bad belief about the person who makes the argument and the assumption that therefore anything he says is wrong, rather than an argument against the argument itself.
Now I don't go around discarding people's arguments because of them being African-American or any other race, and it's only fair that you don't discard people's arguments because they're white, which I see you doing here. There has to be a counter-argument, not just an ad hominem, "Well that guy's old and white, so that proves he's wrong."
"I can only speak from my experience, but the younger women I knew that were dating older men were looking for money."
Did it ever occur to you that the women who don't go around having sex with other women while they're married to men might have some different ideas then your married girlfriends? No wonder they marry men for their money if their real attraction is with other women. The reason you haven't met the other ones is because they're not interested in sleeping with you, and therefore the sample you base your argument on is not characteristic of the whole.
"I imagine that there has to be women out there who feel the same way about older men. But the majority of them don't. Sorry."
How do you know what the majority of women think? You mean the majority of women who've slept with you while they were married? Not a representative sample of the population. Were you considering only your own community? Or your own country for that matter? You said "all women." Were you considering the people of other countries too? Did you even know they exist? Or did you care? You'd better present some reliable information, such as polls that have been done on people all around the world, if you expect your statement to have any credibility.
You said about your study and your rationale:
"It's really just a compilation of data that I have twisted around to prove a point laced with a few big words and some funding from several demographics who can't stand older men."
Couldn't have described it better myself. No hostilities intended, just disagreeing with you. Have a nice day.
Keith H.
Genetics not evolution; anecdotal "all cases I know" invalid arg
"Evolution is a lie, so this finding is a joke."
This finding isn't based on evolution. Sometimes scientists use the general word "evolution" when what they really mean is "genetics." Sometimes genetics is contained within the theory of evolution, but genetics studies don't necesarily require the theory of evolution.
What do you believe in? Creationism? The whole difference between creationism and evolution centers around evolution believing that new genes appear within the genetic structure according to the circumstances the human, animal or life-form finds itself in, and creationism believes that -- with the sole exception of mutations -- we can only reproduce from the genes that were already there.
Creationism still believes that genes are inherited and that upon reproduction they combine according to the genes that are contained in the genetic codes of both parents. Creationism also believes that if mating is done selectively, offspring will result according to the selection practiced, regardless of whether or not it's a good idea. So even if believing in creationism will not discard this finding.
"The best possible companion anyone, man or woman, can have is with a person within 7 years of their own age."
Good thing we have you to set all the standards for everybody in the world to live by. The only trouble is: who are you to make these decisions for everybody else? What proof do you have and what authority do you have? None. It's just your opinion. You're entitled to your opinion, but other people are just as entitled to theirs.
"All the much older man and much younger women relationships that I known of were usually over with in 5-7 years. And most of the women cheated during the relationship."
The problem with this argument is that it is anecdotal rather than statistical. All the relationships you happen to know of could be just a tiny drop in the bucket not representative of the whole. It could be that in your little town or neighborhood, all the marriage partners cheat on each other. At any rate, the facts have shown that many, many relationships with older men and younger women have succeeded and continue to succeed, and that fact alone renders the entire argument you make invalid.
Keith H.
maybe
well that all depends on people if they choice to stick to one person or always having different person which some guys i find them only in to heaps of girl so that they can get in to there pants but it also count on girls to because some can be the word "slut" because they wanted to have huge dick or they wanted to use man for something they needed and when they get bored of then they tend to leave them and change to a different person same goes with guys but if they really love with each other and get to know them well and be more honest to them self wither then going on cheating on there partners so it just depends on how you and your strong is you relationship is that is my point of view
men and younger women
Somebody please tell me that there are men out there that can fall in love with one woman and love her and only her for the rest of their lives. I am so disillusioned about the idea of love anymore that it has affected everything about me and what I believe. It sucks, it's scary and I need to know, am I a fool for ever believing the Cinderella story?
greenbean
i have the same
i have the same situation,exactly the same but the difference of age is 25 years..i'm ur age,at school as well..i don't know if this relation is right or wrong,even because of his daughters..but..i love him..and people tell me i'm crazy!!!!i need advices
Are you?
It's easy to see how young you are from your post, and I don't mean it in any sort of negative fashion. It's your time to be young. I'm 23 and I've dated someone exactly 33 years older than me. I've found myself listening to the same things, and wondering the same thing. He's played on my 'innocence' and naivete sometimes and told me things that I now know were exaggerations that he would say simply because I would believe them. No harm came from these and we are still quite fond of one another, but we both know it isn't love; not in that way.
He says he's never felt this way before. While not impossible, I think that this is improbable. He's had an entire lifetime before you were even born, and will likely experience many more joys in his life. He's getting ready to settle down and retire in a few years. You're getting ready for a brief journey into the world of papers, all-nighters and the college social scene. Perhaps he's young at heart, but there's going to be a disconnection between those lifestyles.
No one can really tell you what to do here. This is going to be a very personal decision (but very hard to make) for you. I'm certain that there are many people in your life who will fill that this isn't the best way for you to enjoy your youth, when the potential for loss is so great. You'll do what you want to.
I think you're a smart young lady, you know what to do and what will be best for you in the long run. I don't think there's anything wrong with dating older men, but to settle down with one is a different matter that depends entirely on the people involved. I hope, but don't dictate, that you choose to enjoy growing up with people with whom you'll have more in common with, that you choose to enjoy these years ahead, before the seriousness of life truly sets in, because each decade I think we [humans] realize that we still have a lot to learn, and that we didn't really get life as much as we once thought.
Thanks!
This gives me a lot of hope. I am a 40 old SWM, never married, no kids, and a great housekeeper/cook/friend/lover who has been wise enough to wait until he brought no obstacles into a relationship, but this all came at the price of not getting married a few times to people I should/could have. Now that I am ready, it is hard to find someone who still has the desire and potential to have many kids that is also mature enough to avoid making some mistakes I made and wasting time on things that didn't do much for the future.
Older man
Don't confuse your inner feelings with the almighty word "LOVE". Look at it from 30,000 feet, step back and enjoy your youth.
YOU only have ONE
Older man
Step back and take a hard look at yourself. Maybe the college years will help. I'm 54, divorced with kids older than you are.
I can understand your lover, he siphons energy off you, you make him feel young at heart, he does not be a grown up per se.
Yes, I was thinking about dating younger girls, but at the end of the day you have to talk about something. You know what the best part of the marriage was? Growing together, sharing, knowing that your partner will be there for you (well that did not work as planned), the activities, the kids, holidays, etc etc.
One day you might want kids to enjoy, build a life on your own, be you not defined by your lover. It is hard to explain, once you are there you know.
ENJOY your youth, you only have ONE - trust me on this and find yourself
Peter
mature womens
I like mature women because aged & mature women's are serious in friendship
I observe mature women’s are serious in close coordination and most experienced about life & specially they are committed with aim & responsible of friendship Here in our country mostly 70 % mature women’s are dust rib in many problems specially-domestic behavior problems.shltar problem in case of sick treatment problum and other problems mostly Widows.sapprated.dicored.And other mature women’s My basic aim is improvement for victim & domestically disturb mature women’s I want initiative for arrested mature women’s in false cases because I want serving of women jails after conclusion serving report I will select most needy& victim women’s for supporting trough any strong human rights organization
OMG
The reason that I'm reading these is to findout if a younger woman falls in Love with an older man is there something wrong with her. Did she not have a good father, is that what she is looking for, a Dad. at 19 years old can a woman trully be in Love with a 43 year old man, or should I run away.
i am in love with him
I am 18 years young and will be graduating from high school this year... This last summer I fell in love with a great friend of mine and my parents. He happens to be 51. He loves me with all that he is, and he is absolutely amazing in bed. Absolutely, hands down, the best... We can't see one another as we would like, and he wants to marry me someday... I have yet to go to college for 4+ years, and I am afraid to commit that deeply to him. I don't know what to do. I know he'd wait forever for me, and being together with him is something I would love to do.... But it is obvious the down side of loving a man 33 years older than you is what happens when he is gone.... We've talked about this.... He says he'll never really be gone.. He'll always be in my heart. This is so much the truth, but I know that I won't be able to move on from this man. He has been married, has kids close to my age, and he has never been this much in love before. Nor have I... I want the rest of time with him, but is this a good idea if I will lose him when I'm still young?.....
Please advise me....
i am in love with him
I am 18 years young and will be graduating from high school this year... This last summer I fell in love with a great friend of mine and my parents. He happens to be 51. He loves me with all that he is, and he is absolutely amazing in bed. Absolutely, hands down, the best... We can't see one another as we would like, and he wants to marry me someday... I have yet to go to college for 4+ years, and I am afraid to commit that deeply to him. I don't know what to do. I know he'd wait forever for me, and being together with him is something I would love to do.... But it is obvious the down side of loving a man 33 years older than you is what happens when he is gone.... We've talked about this.... He says he'll never really be gone.. He'll always be in my heart. This is so much the truth, but I know that I won't be able to move on from this man. He has been married, has kids close to my age, and he has never been this much in love before. Nor have I... I want the rest of time with him, but is this a good idea if I will lose him when I'm still young?.....
Please advise me....
to "old men are disgusting"
Wow! I'm in my mid 30's and after a divorce fell head over heels for a gentleman in his mid 60's. Did NOT see this coming! He was a lover...kind, GENTLE, took his time and made it all about me. Not like a lot of younger men who are still about "just getting there himself" this man truly taught me about who I was and gave me an awakening that I don't think I ever would have experienced with a younger man. He showed me what my body was was truly capable of! Don't just pass someone off because they may have a few grey hairs!
Love conquers all
Im 31 and my man is 44. We've been together for 4.5 years and were happy. He was married at one point in time for 18 years. I didnt think I could come behind something like that and be happy. I thought I would always be compared. But surprizingly I wasn't. The first 2 yrs was rough. I was still goin threw my changing stage in life. I had to find out who I was before I could reconize what and who I wanted. All the things we've been threw the first 2 yrs I'm was surprized were still together.It was always the little things.Now almost 5 yrs in he's wanting a baby and I already have two children. I REALLY want to give him a child,and I am. We've planned for Nov. 10 to start and make our family complete. It doesnt matter about age. As long as you love,respect,and understand each other with everything you have. LOVE OUT WAYS EVERYTHING AS LONG AS IT REAL. If anyone has doubts about anything in life than your probably forcing something that should come natural. GOOD LUCK. Hope u can be happy as I am one day. :-)
Evolution?
Young women do get attracted to older men and I have seen quite a few real life instances in my life to pretty much agree with this mindset. I think older men with younger women are the right mix for a successful marriage. One of my friends in his mid sixties married a woman in her thirties and they seem quite happy even after five years of marriage. And I can quote many more examples. Strangely enough, there are a lot of young men who also get attracted to older women. Not sure what the logic behind this is or what the implications would be.
Thanks,
Mike
Duplicate
Removing duplicate comment
Age is just a number its what you feel thats important. if its r
I am 26 years old and i have been dating a 69 years old guy for a month now. I have been in one relationship before i met this guy.My ex. was an okay guy, but i was never fully happy with him. This older guy has such a wonderful spirit which i admires so much. I simply adores everything about him. He really knows how to keep a good conversation, especially since we have the same educational background. He did his P.HD in Economics studies and i completed my Ms c. in Development studies and Economics. We really have so much in common. He respect the fact that i am independent and need my space to grow. I enjoys listening to him and learning as much as i can. I am dating him on the sole purpose that he is a wonderful human being and i believed when u have a good connection with someone; age should not be a factor. The most important thing is to respect the person, be a friend, then learn to be comfortable with the age gap. Having established a friendship and mutual respect you will be able to cope with the challenges that comes with age gap. Essentially, you ought to be with this person for the right reasons, so when the public judge you wrongfully, you can hold your head high. Be independent and respect yourself, be honest with yourself and honest with him as well. If dating an older ma makes you happier than dating a younger guy, follow your heart but be realistic of the challenges that will arrive. In any relationship you will have challenges, which you ought to deal with.If dating an older guy is your call, then go a head and do it for all the right reason.
I'm looking for a younger women. I'm 53 and can easily pass for
Hi there,
Any younger women(of child bearing age) wish to contact me...
go right ahead. Include your pic, phone number, where you live(what state or country)... and any other information you want me to know.
I'm 53 and can easily pass for 40 to 45.
I appreciate women. Also, I am extremely loyal. I will love you madly. Hopelessly, helplessly, and foreverly will I be in love with you.
I am a one women man. A couples guy... very loving, caring, can make you laugh, I take care of myself... easily look 10 years younger than my age. I sort of have longish hair, 6ft. No wrinkles.... just a smidge of grey in my hair.
Also, I am very easy going and laid back. I love to hold hands...
have no problems with public showing of affection... ya know kissing. I have a good job and can definitely support a family.
I also have some musical talents... I just love life.
Frankly, I have no doubt I will be around for a long time.
On the other hand, I might get hit by a car.... nah just teasing... about the car that is. --LOL-- :o)
Feel free to contact me.
Smiles and laughter to all,
Marc in beautiful Arizona
e-mail: THEFILMDIRECTOR1@yahoo.com
I would be interested I'm 53... workout... easily pass for 42-45
Hi there,
Any younger women(of child bearing age) wish to contact me...
go right ahead. Include your pic, phone number, where you live(what state or country)... and any other information you want me to know.
I appreciate women. Also, I am extremely loyal.
I am a one women man. A couples guy... very loving, caring, can make you laugh, I take care of myself... easily look 10 years younger than my age. I sort of have longish hair, 6ft. No wrinkles.... just a smidge of grey in my hair.
Also, I am very easy going and laid back. I love to hold hands...
have no problems with public showing of affection... ya know kissig. I have a good job and can definitely support a family.
I also have some musical talents... I just love life.
Frankly, I have no doubt I will be around for a long time.
On the other hand, I might get hit by a car.... nah just teasing... about the car that is. --LOL-- :o)
Feel free to contact me.
Smiles and laughter to all,
Marc in beautiful Arizona
e-mail: THEFILMDIRECTOR1@yahoo.com
Old men are disgusting
Who would want to sleep with an old man? Yuk!
Left heart broken
I'm 35 years old and was dating a 48 year old man, up to this past weekend that is. He had been battling with the fact of having children at his age, up to this weekend when he decided to leave me. All he kept doing was running math in his head, when he turns 60, the child will only be 11 and so on. We were together for almost 4 years in a beautiful relationship which completed me and made me so happy. He says it's for my benefit, so I can go and find someone younger to have a family with. I love him so much and I'm broken hearted beyond belief.
age really doesnt matter
i believe age does not matter because important sorry my english
Burun estetigi ça??m?z?n en çok ra?bet gören ve en s?k yapt?r?lan ameliyatlar? aras?ndad?r. Çünkü burun, yüzün en önemli tamamlay?c?s?d?r ve yüzümüze ifade ve anlam katmaktad?r.
hey if you do not have
hey if you do not have anything nice to say dont say anything, we dont need your criticism if you got a problem keep it to youself.
Not Hating on Kellie
Kellie I was speaking generally for anybody whose blinded by this sanctimonious and baseless rhetoric about kids being worse off by an older parent. By your logic, you also condemn women who never married and are now having IV treatment to bear a kid in their late 40s, because career got in the way. Lets just do the maths here. Because Im sure your statements include any parent having kids at an old age.
You have a career woman in her late 40s wanting her 1st child. Suddenly she sees career isnt all she needs anymore. Her biological clock almost ran out and now she wants motherhood. But she shouldn't according to your stance. Because she will be hitting her late 60s early 70s before her kids are able to legally drink. Again going by your position in this, the husband of this woman would be in his late 40s and in the belief that having a kid will enrich their union, he also agrees and supports his wife. But hey their both wrong because you and others believe life starts and ends by 30s.
Awesome advice.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Nothing is wrong with you. You like who you like, that's nature taking it's course.. On the other hand that's your friends father, that's where the problem begins. Have you talked with your friend yet to see what they think about it....
amores entre idades
olha fofa eu tenho 19 anos e namoro e vivo com um homem de 47 nunca me senti tao completa e feliz, e quer saber muitos podem te criticar mas voce tem que mostrar ser forte e objetiva esse relacionamento sim pode dar certo mas pense bem que com homens mais maduros nao se brinca vc tende ter certeza do que quer e ai sim vai ser feliz saiba que ele e mais velho mais tambem e homem e ate melhor que novinhos ...
boa sorte!!!
seja feliz e siga seu coraçao.
Please help
Recently I came across an old man who is around 70yrs old. He is actually my friends dad and wants me to sleep with him. I am trying my best to avoid it but something is attracting me towards him. I am 25yrs old, am I doing wrong? or something wrong in me? please advice.
being warm inside is not enough
don't confuse your emotions with sanity. Even if you were not to get bored with him when you are 30 and he is 53 and ordering the senior special at dennys because that is all he can afford after paying alimony and child support, he will quickly tire of you. At fifteen time is on your side. you will meet many men who excite you and many you will love. But commiting to one before you get to a point you can't take care of yourself and your 3 kids BY YOURSELF is just plain dumb.
Not wrong at all - can you guys help me please?
I'm only 15 years old and I'm in love with someone who's 38... I think he is amazing, he is often fighting with me for fun and teasing me and I just get all warm inside. But he has been married and have got children and is involved with someone now. I know that chance I'll get him is extremely small but i hope and I think about him a lot. And can anyone say that it's wrong? he may be more than 20 years older, but if it's love, what else matters? Every single person in the world wants love, very many people never finds it, if I'm happy to actually find it, how can that possible be wrong? Does anyone have tips for me, like how I can make him see me as a someone who can be his partner instead of seeing me as a kid? Thank you people who is reading this and help for what you might tell me!
26y/o married to 62y/o
My husband and i are happily married and have been for 7 years. We have been together for 8 years and have two children. We get along great. Age did matter at first but then it just got pushed away. I must say to anyone who is just starting a relationship with a large age gap, it is hard work. You may think you agree on so many things but that will change. One problem we are having is, I am still growing as a person! Changing. He is finished changing and will remain the same forever! He has a hard time excepting the fact that I am not the same person I was when we met and I was only 18!
It takes a strong relationship, strong bond to make this kind of relationship work! So far we have been able to. I love him more than anything and he loves me, but that doesn't mean it wont change later. He might see some 18 year old who has NOT had 2 kids! Only time will tell.
But for now i just want to say, don't be a hater! every person is different, Every relationship is unique. No one can tell you what to do. Just follow your heart and remember that every relationship will go through there ups and downs, But if the guy you are dating is married, then he isn't worth it! He is proving that he will cheat, so theres no way you can trust him.
So not true!
That is crap! Of course a man over 60 is still willing and able! My husband is 62, and i am 26. We have an amazing sex life. We have two kids and have been together for 8 years. so for you to say "If the man over 60, he can't do anything", you should probably get your facts straight before you speak!
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