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Attractiveness is based upon symmetry. The more symmetrical a person is the healthier. Women's health is much more important than men's - they not only have to carry the child for nine months but also provide antibodies, etc. So men will, when not influenced by a negative society/cultural tend to, if they have a choice, select women for symmetry; extremes are shunned.
As for women thinking for themselves: who runs the modeling agencies and the fashion magazines that show the skinny models? Have you seen the reality modeling shows on television lately?