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Yeah, Thanks for That

November 28, 2008 by walls

I am thankful that I have a job in the emergency department (ED).

I am thankful for my family’s health. Not all of us have health, but I am glad for that of those who do.

I am thankful for my daughter’s preschool teacher who got our family writing at dinner a nightly list of things for which we are thankful.

I am thankful that my 18 year old daughter didn’t smoke enough methamphetamine and crack by lunchtime on Thanksgiving to land her in the ED a week after her last abortion.

I am thankful that at 85 years old I didn’t lie in my own family’s inhabited house for days without food and water until my muscles broke down (rhabdomyolysis) and my kidneys failed and my potassium destabilized my myocardium (heart).

I am glad that at 73 years old and after too very many facial plastic surgeries I didn’t fall on my 40 year old punch bowl, break it, and lacerate my hand.

I am so happy that I don’t have a perirectal abscess.

I am so pleased that my 5 year old did not fall off the back of the couch and land on his head and give himself a 7mm left parietal epidural hematoma (head bleed) and thus need to fly to the PICU (pediatric ICU – 70 miles away) for the holiday.

I am chuffed that I didn’t drink too much for breakfast, take a few Xanax to celebrate Thanksgiving, and start setting off fireworks inside my house. I am happy that I didn’t terrify my 8 year old daughter by doing so.

The relief I feel at not having COPD (emphysema) and not coming in to the ED one day after discharge from another hospital and then not leaving AMA (against medical advice) is palpable: I can palpate it.

To whom can one send a card of appreciation for not needing an AICD (implanted defibrillator) firing to save my life after exactly 16 seconds of VT (ventricular tachycardia) on Turkey Day?

I am invigorated knowing that I didn’t fracture-dislocate my ankle while enjoying the big treat of a prison yard Thanksgiving football game. I want to tell someone that I am pleased that my foot points forward and not 90 degrees to my left.

I am glad that I was not the person who had my very first case in 2008 of verified RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) bronchiolitis on Thanksgiving. Let the winter begin. Throw open wide the doors of your pediatric units. Welcome Christmas and flu. I am feeling satisfied that I got my flu shot a few weeks ago.

I am thankful that I have a job in a growth market.