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I think you need to stop seeing the sex as a competition and see it as something beautiful where if she is pleasured then you are happy. It is hard for a woman to relax when a man is pumping away on top of her trying to get her to respond.

Sex is intimacy and if you keep going at it like it's mechanical and all about your ability to make her cum, you will lose her. I bet you don't realise that listening to her, holding her and just being slow and gentle with her are all part of the experience.

Get back to the place of love. Also if she is the woman of your dreams -MARRY HER!!!