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You need to change doctors. If loosing your temper is sending you to hospitals or jail. I assume you have been hurting people. It is interesting to be that you talk about how successful you are, and what a good friend you are. Perhaps it is part of your disease that you are not taking responsibility for what you are doing. You need to be in a serious treatment program, and away from people you may hurt. You say that you are a community organizer, you should stop being one. If you can't control your anger you shouldn't put others at risk. Your plea for help sounds very cold to me. I hear no guilt or responsibility. I wish you luck! I hope that you can take responsibility for you actions, and then stop hurting other people.