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I think you're being a bit hard on yourself! it sounds like you've been through a lot - trying different ways to solve the bedwetting issue...My son is 13 and still occasionally has a wet night and we've never gone to a doctor about it - yet.
I just checked this site out to see what others are saying...sounds like people feel 'limited' by this - and you are giving yourself a pretty serious 'deadline' - if you don't have this thing over and done with by the tim you're 21!! WOW - there is really so much more to life! don't mean to lecture but, seriously, it's not a solution. So you may not work out in the military...there's a million other things you CAN do! think about it!!!