Reuniting's blog
A drug that makes you not only able but eager and willing isn't going to remain the exclusive property of the severely impaired. As with Viagra, there will be extensive off-label use.—Julian Dibbell, The Observer
Not long ago, a Canadian research team discovered something surprising: In the recipe for great sex, orgasm is optional. Said the head researcher, "There is plenty of evidence that most people believe that the secret to sexual fulfillment is technical, that it's about better manual and oral stimulation techniques." In fact, "You could have terrible sex with orgasms and despite orgasms, but you could have optimal sexuality without orgasm."
So where did humans get the idea that sex must always lead to orgasm?
"By Jove, it's the reward circuitry!"
A dedicated member of the "to each his own taste" club, I'm all for freedom of speech. However, my website happens to discuss the highs and lows of sexual satiety in terms of the highs and lows of the typical addiction cycle. To my surprise (and theirs, I'm sure), men from all over the world showed up in my site's forum complaining of addiction to porn/masturbation.
Waiting for a concert to begin at our local county fair, my husband and I checked out a reptile exhibit that included an animal trainer with a live alligator resting calmly on his lap. As we stroked the gator, I asked the trainer why it was so tame. "I pet it daily. If I didn't, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn't allow this," he explained.
Ever fall in love with total abandon, experience mind-boggling sex, been sure you wanted to stay together forever -- and then notice recurring emotional friction arising? Does one of you sometimes becomes clingy or demanding while the other feels devoured and needs "space?"
This misery isn't necessarily due to bad luck or personality quirks. Quite possibly it's coming from an ancient genetic program running in a primitive part of your brain. It becomes more evident after lovers' initial booster shot of honeymoon neurochemistry wears off, so new lovers firmly believe they are immune -- as do people who aren't getting enough loving.
Does anyone here know anything about the relationship (if any) between BDNF and Delta FosB? It's my understanding that both are proteins that play roles in addiction.
My web site draws a lot of recovering porn addicts. Several have noticed that giving up porn use is tough because each orgasm throws them back into intense cravings for more...and fantasies or porn are the easiest ways for their brains to "self-medicate" the uncomfortable withdrawal. However, when they "reboot" by abstaining from orgasm for about two months, there's a shift. The occasional orgasm doesn't throw them back into the cycle.
I read that, in addicts, Delta FosB (which has promoted addiction relapse in mice addicted to exercise...another behavioral addiction) apparently clears out of the reward circuitry after 1-2 months.
I'm curious if BDNF changes might potentially also play a role in the brain's return to equilibrium, just as it does in addictions. (http://thevarsity.ca/article/19643)
I'd be interested in anyone's insights related to these questions.
