Sexy Women Make Everyone Feel Bad

I agree with the comment above in part. Lets face it, we are all turned on initially buy looks fancy car, clothes, attitude, etc... Same in the animal world. Men and woman are both first attracted at the most primal level. As the relationshp developes or erodes, we need more to develop and build a lasting relationship.

http://www.butterfliesandbikinis.com

Beautiful Barbara, Read some hard science! Your arguments would be more credible.

word up...i dont think many people realize that this beauty thing they keep chasing is only temporary. As soon as you think you've found the finest thing around, someone finer will come along and make you rethink your whole situation. Beauty can be easily compromised. When the poop hits the fan, a person wants to know if their partner will ride storms out with them or if they'll bail. A person wants to know that if they become less glamorous, their partner will love them and not leave them for the next peice of eye candy. People who place SOOO MUCH value on having a trophy wife/husband, usually are very clueless and havent been through enough to know whats important because they think that when bills need to be paid and children need to be fed, that good looks are going to help. They wont (not unless she sells herself somehow.)
I have always been told that I'm attractive and many men would like to be with me, and its nice to feel good when I'm in public, but after having grown up, I will not accept anyone who JUST looks good. I need to know that that person has substance and a kind soul and a brave heart and a LOT of other good things too.

Interestingly enough, there isnt much room for compromise about the KIND of person i want to spend forever with, but the physical requirements arent nearly as set in stone. I prefer someone my height, but i have dated a little shorter. I'm usually more attracted to men with my caramel complexion, but the man i'm engaged to is very fair skinned. I fell in love with him when he was skinny with short hair, and now he's about 70 pounds heavier with lots of muscle and braids that reach the middle of his back, which i also love. He can change his appearance weekly if he wants, as long as he doesnt stop making me feel the way he makes me feel. A lot of people girls stare at us when we're out together, and to be honest it gets on both our nerves a little. I don't wish he were less attractive, but it would be nicer if SO MANY women didnt have to fall all over themselves.. .all the time. And our intentions arent to get those kinds of reactions out of people. I feel good walking with him not because of how he looks, its the way he holds my hand like the wind is going to blow me away. And feeling like its ok to let my guard down and love him 150% because I trust in him. Those things are priceless, and they wont change with time and they wont change when someone more attractive tries to get at me. I'm still going to feel that way when he's old and gray and wrinkly and his pipi stops working.

Now on the other hand, if God forbid our relationship didnt work out, I would look for someone with still many of his same personality traits, because they are more important than what, exactly, he looks like.

To the author of the original post that was an interesting read!

I have to disagree with the title though, people are responsable for their own self esteem and it's extremely silly to think that some model somewhere who never had any interaction with can be responsable for your insecurities. As you think so you shall be. I agree with the rest though completely! I think guys do indeed feels more and more the weight of not "measuring up" (if they are insecure). I think it's unfortunate in a way that we choose in part based on physical attraction, I know there are a lot of shorter or physically not attractive (or in the parlance of science: sub optional reproductive specimens) but they are kind hearted and decent human beings.

Lots of men have lots of expection in part due to the media, in what they expect from a women.Some of them probably feel as if they are not quite up to snuff genetically speaking for the women they secretly wished they have. . Ignoring women on their "level" is not smart though and only cause these dejected men feel more miserable. People do indeed match based on their "level" so to speak of physical desirability it's evolution. Personally I must admit reluctantly I've always been with objectively extremely good looking men, some who even model (not the androgynous effeminate kind though but the type who have classical "rugged" handsome look...hot!)

Julie,5'8" Montreal

I am a woman and I think you have a very weird view of us! From what you say it sounds like every woman you have been with acts as though she's doing you a favour. Well realise this: she's not. You sound like a nice decent guy and it sounds as though you try very hard to make your woman happy. So why do you go for ones that don't appreciate you? Women want and need men as much as men want and need women. If the sort of women you've been with would dump you in a second for a better offer they must be judging people on the wrong things. Where does love come into this? Find a woman that appreciates you like you appreciate her and I hope you will be very happy

"Why *shouldn't* the beautiful women deserve something like herself?"

Also keep in mind that beautiful women don't want to be on some pedestral, like the average or less desirable guy is likely to put her on it since he wouldn't believe his luck (not saying average guys are with beautiful women, just in hypothetic scenario) whereas the handsome good looking guy is more likely to just see her as a person and not some imaginary godess. Good looking people are used to beauty and being attractive so they are less intimidated by it and can develop healthier relationships with other desirable people like themselves. Part of a healthy relationship is equality.

Helene

I completely disagree. Women are crazy. They do not realize what drives them. Any guy can get any girl. The reason why the good looking guy gets the good looking girl is because his self esteem has been boosted his entire life. He hasn't had to worry about rejection. For the rest of us, all this means is that we have to retrain the way we think--make ourselves into more confident beings. Women do not care about how you look--not in the long run anyways. They care soo much about your personality. If you go up to a hot girl with "I wanna bang you" written all over your face, get in line. So does every other guy. You have to make her feel different. Do something unpredictable because if every guy wants to bang her, she gets to choose, not you. If you can break her concentration for lack of a better word, you increase your odds of getting what you want.

Number one learn to use spell check and correct your grammar and second most guys are so brainwashed by the crap they're being fed through the media that many of them don't know a real woman when they see one. The fact that many "sexy" women tend to be full of themselves and are the same stupid bitches that make fun of average women telling them how they can't get a man when it's pretty ironic to see a lot of 'sexy' girls and women who are more single than a dollar bill. These so called sexy women are usually ones guys don't stay with very long once the vanity wears off.

I m too hot boy. i only wants girls for fucking

I know its hard to accept, but it's human nature to look at other asthetically pleasing humans. I check out hot women all the time myself (I am a heterosexual woman) and what is going through my mind is "Wow, she's nearly perfect... what genetics" and if a straight guy ogles her, he's probably thinking, "Wow, she is so smokin hot, I wonder if she'd have sex with me?" - both of these observations are based on looks ONLY, and exist within a vacuum where reality, responsibilities, and current relationships hold no influence... it's like a theory: 'would she sleep with me if both of us were single.'

But men are not two dimensional... their attraction to women is just as complex as our attraction to men. What gets him going isn't just a tight ass or perfect proportions, it might be the cute way you laugh, the way you smell in the morning, the way you kiss, the cute way your butt shimmies when you walk, or a hundred other things that have to come together to really turn his crank. You have them, she doesn't.

Most women have a "dream guy" - he has a look and a set of behaviors that she would LOVE to meet, but as we get older we realize that's just fantasy. He probably picks at his toes before bed and eats too many onions to REALLY be our dream guy. Plus, his laugh is annoying and he's far too obsessed with his hair. You get the picture.

So, in a nutshell, don't worry about the theorizing... just concentrate on reality. :)